The Eyes of the Heart, Pt. 2

It has been over a year (almost year and a half) since I have written and published a blog. Written, yes. Published, no. A lot has happened in the last year, but my reason/s for not writing has nothing to do with the insanity and sheer nuttiness of the world… if anything, it has been for the insanity and nuttiness within me. As I’ve hinted in previous blogs, it may have had something to do with a girl, although I won’t really touch on that here. What it has had to do with though, is my journey with God.

I’d like to say that for the last year+, life has been rainbows and unicorns and being led by still waters to lie down in green pastures, but it hasn’t…as I’m guessing the last year and a half of anyone’s life hasn’t been. However it is life, and life serves one ultimate purpose… to lead us towards death. That’s not me being negative in the slightest. It’s just what happens. For every one began ends in death…#truestory. Well, except for Enoch and Elijah and Jesus.. but the odds of that happening to any of us… pretty slim.

And herein is why I’m writing again. It is who I am and what I do. I am a writer. It is my gift and I’ve done okay with it up to now on a very, very, very small scale… but I need to do more. “Feed My sheep” is how I believe He put it…and continues to put it. “Why do you call me Lord, Lord, yet don’t do what I say?” Yes, Lord…I will do what you say. Yet I’ve written very little here and almost none in the last three years, whereas I had been writing every day. Would I have liked to be writing as I had before? Yes. I have at least fifty ideas and/or topics to write about, and more opportunities arise daily… yet here I sit.

But this…ALL of this, the last five years have been a part of my journey…to get me to here. I’m okay with words, but am not overly eloquent. I don’t have a filter in real life, so I don’t see the need to have one here. But I will write to honor God and don’t believe He would want me to filter His words….or say anything that needs to be. And while I believe God has given me the words to say in previous blogs, I think He wants me to step up my game. He wants me to write from my heart.

I have named and renamed my blog a few different times over the years before settling on The Eyes of the Heart. Here are a few reasons why. One of my favorite authors, Frederick Buechner, who I will quote occasionally titled one of his books the same. And, of course, it led me to one of my favorite Bible verses, Ephesians 1:18-20.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms…

“Know the hope to which He has called you” “His great power for us who believe” “…the same power that raised Christ from the dead”… I don’t know about you, but I want me some of that. “The riches of his glorious inheritance”… such a great chapter of the Bible. Such a great book in the Bible. All of the promises of God are for us.. on Earth as it is in Heaven.

So I write again. As I’ve said I was writing before, or dabbling in writing, but hadn’t quite hit on “eyes of the heart” writing. My Journey with God. I was only seeing with the eyes on my face…and if that is all I am capable of seeing with, I might as well be blind. If I was concentrating on writing fiction it may be different…I may have gotten away with it, as most of our fictional stories all have a bit of truth in them. That’s not good enough, though. My wants in writing have become to put on paper what God wants me to, so I’ll stick with non fiction…*Atheist opinions may vary. Guess that was a little off topic, but I have a way of making short stories long. 🙂

The hardest part I’ve found, so far, is cleaning out the gunk, cobwebs and debris from past hurts. I recently asked God to dig up (and heal) my heart as it has needed renovation and renewing for far too long. He came to heal the brokenhearted. There’s a lot of messiness there and so many things, scary things, things clowns that live in the sewer system are scared of I had stuffed down for so long and put to death…or so I thought. But as good of a God as He is.. as loving and compassionate as He is, He cannot and will not let us stay there. If you aren’t operating from the heart, you are among the walking dead. He is taking me back to the beginning to begin healing. He is not a half hearted God. He won’t stop at halfway, because halfway healed is still broken. He wants our true selves.. That isn’t to say He can’t use us otherwise, but He knows and loves us, but not the earthly versions of us we pretend to be. He wants the person He created before we were born. That is who He needs us to be. And thank Him for not quitting on us until we’ve become that person.

We all have a story of woundedness, yet if we don’t ever meet it head on and heal from it, we will most likely operate from that woundedness until we do. And so many people never do… I don’t want to be one of those people. My story isn’t unlike many, many others. A boy waits patiently for his father to come home when he’s two years old which becomes three which becomes five, then ten, then becomes he’ll never come for me, which becomes no one will ever come for me, and that’s where the boy learns to live out of. A girl waits her entire life time to hear her mother say “I love you” one time…. just one time, and that one time never comes and now her mother is no more, and she’s still waiting for words she’ll never hear. And that is where she learns to live out of. An area of pain, hurt and anger… and they both vow to never be in that position again.

So, eventually….once upon a time boy meets girl, they fall in love and they tell each other the words they never heard growing up…and they don’t know what to do with them, or how to process them, so they don’t. They part ways. They could be in each other’s arms in thirty minutes or less, but now they’re strangers. Once everything to each other…now they don’t talk. Hurt people hurt people.

Again, two stories that may not be any different from your own, and there are stories much more horrific than those. The parents who hurt us were once children of parents that wounded them. And most likely, intentionally or not, we have done the same to our children. Now would be a good time for a Bible verse… and I have nothing.

But then again, I do have something. I have everything. I have God and she does, too. That doesn’t mean there will be a happily ever after story between said boy and girl. The journey between them may be over…it may have just a chapter in the story of their journeys to God, but there will be a happily ever after story with God.

But it’s a process. It is always a process and we should always be a work in progress. And my progress is currently in digging up the past and healing. Until recently, I couldn’t tell you much of my life between two and twenty. But the parts I could tell weren’t any worth telling. Not sure if the second twenty something years would be any different. Smiling didn’t happen much and still doesn’t. Yes, I was a class clown and to this day enjoy making others laugh at work, at church, the check out line at the grocery story, at anywhere I go…I try to make others laugh even if I fight back tears while doing so. But I’m not content in staying there…..anymore. For a long time, I’ve been the man at the well. For probably longer than the 38 years it’s been said he was there. Soooo, I think it’s time to pick up my mat and walk…..but mostly talk/write. 🙂

Yet, that’s a scary thought. What are you supposed to do with your new found wellness? Unfortunately, we have curled up in our blankets of brokenness for so long, that we have made a home of it…and it’s not that bad there. Cozy, comfortable and every now and then the sun peeks in the great room between the blinds. It isn’t much, but it’s home…….or is it? Doesn’t look like life and to the full to me. So, everybody…. at the count of three, pick up your mat and walk.

Three.

Okay. Anyone there? Me either….but at least, I haven’t rolled my mat out again. I will continue writing and I will hit the publish button for the first time since July of last year. Hopefully, it’s a little more from the heart, or eyes of the heart and will continue to be. It can be a bit unnerving to hit the publish button without knowing what to expect. Will anyone read it? Does it make any sense? Does anyone care what my version of writing with the eyes of the heart truly is? Do they get it? Do they share the same thoughts? Are their wounds and pain too deep to uncover? Will we say a collective “what’s the use?” and keep trudging through what’s left of life? I hope not.

Hitting the publish button under any circumstances can be a daunting task, and it is with an odd mixture of pride, fear, humility, laughter, uncertainty, trepidation, etc and the underlying thought of “I hope I don’t scare them all away” as I move towards doing so. This is an attempt at seeing everything… you, me, the broken boy and girl, the homeless man pushing his overloaded cart towards the underpass to sleep on a cold night, the wealthy man cutting you off in his vehicle that cost more than your house with the eyes of my heart. We’ve all been wounded and scarred (and scared) at some point in our lives, and somehow find a way to live out of these places. Some with nothing. Some with everything (or so they think), because things are just things. They don’t make us complete. Only God can do that. There is an empty spot in all of us only He can fill. If only we would let Him.

Let Him. I’m kinda talking to you there, but talking to myself more. This is me and I hope some of you like it. This is who I am without the mask. I hope to write more from the heart, until I find myself no longer needing to wear one. God wants us as our true self and loves us enough to not let us remain behind the masks. He wants our tears, and sweat and snot and bloodied, bleary eyed and brokenness, the lost and long forgotten hopes and dreams, the absolute worse as in the vow, for better or worse, He wants us. So that He can heal us. Again, it’s life and to the full. He came to bind up the brokenhearted. Let Him…. see above. Kinda talking to myself again.

Back to the boy and girl story…still no happy ever after. It actually reminds me a little of Romeo and Juliet. No, we weren’t star crossed lovers, but were very good for each other. But the same things that brought us together were the same things that eventually tore us apart with all the unhealed damage we brought (from other people and our pasts) to our relationship. Heal! Get well! Don’t use your hurt to hurt others. There are resources available….and I don’t mean self-help. You can’t self help your way out of this. Find a Christian centered therapist, a friend, your pastor or a church worker that can steer you towards the right people. Try more than one, if nothing seems to be happening with the first or second or third one. Pray, pray and pray more. Turn to God. Open the door… for His sake, open the door!!

Back to Romeo and Juliet…..sort of. They ended up dying way too young and needlessly. I think. It’s Shakespeare. I only read it because I had to over 40’something years ago. YAWN!! Anyway, it was a tragic ending to their young lives. Dying once cannot be an easy thing to do, but I have to assume it’s better than dying every day for the rest of your life… Get well. It’s time we all learned to see with the eyes of our heart. It’s a beautiful, messed up world we live in. Rejoice and be glad in it. I say again, rejoice!

Let God be God

If I were to be honest, and I hope that I am, all of these could be titled Let God be God and/or Trust. Because isn’t that what we all need to do? Trust God… let Him do His thing. Be still and know means to let go and give God everything…E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. He knows the plans He has made for us…. and they’re good!! Don’t we all just need to get out of the way???? I know I do.

But how do we go about doing that? I feel my daily thought processes are equal parts faith and hope mixed with doubt and fear. I know what faith and hope look like and I know at my ripe young age of fiddy-sumpthin that my wants and my needs are two entirely different things and I have a kinda, sorta faith that God will work all that out for me in His timing.

I actually have more than a kinda, sorta faith in God. I just have to be still long enough to remember all the many, many, MANY things He has done for me. I also need to pause and pay attention to what He does daily for me….which is also many, many things, and be grateful, because I have so many things to be thankful for. Otherwise, my patience/impatience in His timing welcomes in doubt and fear, and doubt and fear creep in like a stampeding herd of buffaloes… btw/fyi, stampeding buffaloes don’t creep.

Be still… how does one go about doing that? I know it has something to do with what I said up there ^^^^ about faith, trust, let God be God, etc… but I have trouble doing that. As I’ve said before, I believe wholeheartedly in God, but I have trouble letting go of things long enough to let God be God. I play at being a good Christian and sometimes I succeed at being one. I pray honestly and openly to Him (most of the time) since He knows my heart and what I’m going to say, and I know without a doubt He has protected me throughout my life and guided my steps when I had no idea where I was going. I know He does it still. So why not let go and let God? Why does my faith waver?

The world gets in the way. I do my best to “come unto Him” and pick up my cross daily and follow Him. I try to take my focus off the world and have faith in the unseen, because without faith it is impossible to please God….. impossible. I believe. I’ve seen and remember the things He has done. Big, beautiful, bold things as only God can do. But there are times reality looks completely different than what you remember….. and those times stink. What do we do with those?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart…. right? I know it’s easier said than done. Every day with everything, trust in the Lord. Cast all your cares on Him… Trust Him, He cares. Hope in Him. All the promises are true. Believe them and believe Him.. that is ALL we have to do. And that may be the biggest ALL in the history of ever. As I’ve said before, I believe very strongly in God. But do I trust Him with all my heart? I would like to say yes, but I would by lying. I talk (pray) with Him many times throughout my day… and sometimes I even listen. And I like to believe I lay everything at the cross for Him. All my worries, fears, anxious thoughts about life, love, relationships, kids, work, the world, etc, etc…

As in Matthew 6, I close the door and pray to the Father in private. I’m give thanks to Him and for Him. I share my concerns and worries and thank Him that He’s working in my life and the lives of people I love, and in the lives of people I can’t stand. And I leave it with Him….. or do I? I say my Amen. I go to my truck feeling pretty good about things. I put it in reverse and start to back out. And then I pull back in and put it in park. I go back to the cross (metaphorically speaking) and pick up a couple of those things I just gave Him. Hey God, thanks for everything, but let me do a little more with this kid, this relationship with my best friend/mom/dad/work/brother/sister/significant other/money/fill in the blank…. ugh. Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. Remember ALL He has done. Know that the Lord is good…. ALL the time. Be still and know that He is God.

Yes, we all would be better served if we would take the time to remember all He has done for us. Again, we get busy, but if we’re to be honest with ourselves, we stay busy mostly to avoid these things. And sometimes those “things” we ignore are God speaking to us. Not pointing fingers at anyone but myself with that comment. Look back at your life. Would you say you’re where you are on your own… of your own doing? Or can you see where He has been with you and by your side every step of the way? Just trust Him…… speaking to myself again. 🙂

One thing I like to do to help for times like this/all the time is keep some go-to verses on hand whether they be on trust, hope, love, forgiveness, the heart, and so on. Whatever verses you need at times you’re struggling or are feeling anxious, fearful for whatever situation you find yourself in. Take time to read them, commit them to memory, and don’t be afraid to use them. Jesus used them… Don’t be afraid to use “It is written.” Remember them, use themand be grateful for such a kind and loving God that will shower us with grace if we let Him. Like all gifts, we just have to open our hands and our hearts and accept them.

If you’re still here, thanks for reading this far. I started this blog over a little over four years ago….. it was about a girl (I will write more on that in my next blog), and accomplished what it set out to do…more on that also. I wrote over seventy blogs in a two month period and my writing got better in time. I hope the same happens now. What used to take two hours to write now takes two weeks and feels disjointed, repetitive and out of sorts…. kinda like the author. Of course I agree with what I’ve written thus far because I wrote it. 🙂 But I’ve said all that up there ^^^^ to say this.

It’s a good thing to have faith and hope and trust in God. It’s good to pray and take time daily to remember all He has done for you. But I feel the most important thing to do in letting God be God is to let God in. He stands at the door and knocks… All we have to do is let Him in. I believe too many times we talk to God through the closed door. Occasionally, we may open it a little taking care to keep the chain in place (you all remember those, don’t you?), but still won’t let Him in. And even rarer are the times we let Him in. He sits. We have a meal together as friends. But after an hour or two, we let the busyness back in. We look at the clock and begin to clear the table. We say something about tomorrow’s a school day and the kids still need a bath or we need to check their homework or both. And God is gracious enough to go back outside the door and wait until next time. Let Him in. Let Him stay in. All in with God isn’t a bad place to be.

I could add a hundred verses to this post/blog, but I think this encompasses all of them… and I mean ALL of them. 🙂

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in ALL your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5-6

Let God be God…

The Eyes of the Heart

Yes, I know it’s the name of my site, but thought it deserved its own story/message/sermon/blog, too. I named it this as I wish by doing so that I will eventually be able to see everything and everybody through the eyes of my heart. I also hope that by sharing these thoughts, I can somehow move closer towards this goal, whether in giant leaps or baby steps, and can hopefully help someone else do the same. A daunting task… or is it? With God all things are possible… right?

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you…” – Ephesians 1:18a

That sounds like a great thing to want, or actually to long for. I long to see with the eyes of my heart. It seems so very close and attainable, yet it feels miles away. That it is just beyond our grasp… or mine anyway. It also seems to be a bar that keeps moving as I near it. I can only speak for myself, but think that may be true for a lot of people. Maybe it’s scary to us. Maybe we’re afraid of the mess we’ll find…because if we’re honest with ourselves, if only for a second, we know it’s messy in there. Sometimes we get close. We get it in our sights… we reach out for it and as we begin to close our fingers around it…. it moves again. Just beyond our grasp. But we have to keep looking, because that’s where I think real freedom comes from.

I have come to believe that’s what religion does to us. Whether it means to or not, man made religion can and will take the heart out of us. I believe in God. I believe He walked the earth in human form, and I believe He left us a helper as promised. But I hold back in the things that matter. If I do manage to see with the eyes of my heart, either I don’t tell anyone or I pull back out of fear… or I pretend I didn’t see it and just move along. Nothing to see here. Religion wants us to be safe. Religion doesn’t want us to talk back. Religion wants us to be good boys and girls and eat our vegetables. Jesus wants different. Jesus wants more from us and for us. He will keep us safe, but He wants us to lose our lives for His sake and to truly live from our real selves… He wants us to follow Him. And for that, we will need our hearts.

I feel I have a pretty good relationship with Jesus… but I’m also biased, have blinders on and keep God at arms length. Although I know it is not how this works, it’s as if our relationship is on my terms… and we all know that isn’t true. God will change you and your life to align with His will. Yes, with love, mercy and grace, but He will change you. He doesn’t want anyone to perish. He will leave the ninety-nine to search for you… How great is that?!

I pray almost continously as the verse says. Sometimes too much, though, as sometimes (most times) I just need to shut up and listen. As in my everyday life, I choose to stay busy with my busyness. Where is my Be Still? Where is my ability to rest in Him? I go into my quiet place. I shut the door. I follow all the rules (or attempt to). I start to pray from the heart, then my mind goes somewhere else… my mind remembers it’s messy in there. I want so very much to pray in the needs of the day from my heart, but have found over time, whether wanted or not, my prayers have become mechanical, structured, repetitive and boring. I’ve prayed for years for my prayers not to become rote… yet here I am.

That isn’t what I want, though, and I know that’s not what God wants to hear. I can almost see or hear Him finishing my sentences for me as I pray them. Lather, rinse, repeat…c’mon man, be real… get to the point, He says! He knows what’s next and it’s not what He wants to hear. He knows what’s on and in my heart…. and I stay quiet. I talk to Him like I do the cashier at the grocery store, or the neighbor I’m supposed to love. It’s honest talk, but it’s also small talk to keep the silence away.

I want to give Him my heart and yield my ways to Him, but always find myself holding on to something, holding back from Him, although He knows everything in my heart. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, right?!?! Then why am I still here? Why am I stuck on this part? I have a good heart, but it’s an injured heart… but aren’t they all? My story isn’t any different in that way.

I’ve had the same joys, heartaches, happiness, sadness, love, laughter, fears, heartbreak, contentment, hurt, pain, peace that everyone experiences at one time or another. Our individual stories are different, but the story is essentially the same. A parent that should have been there for us left. A parent we wished had left stayed and abused us mentally, physically in ways no one should have to experience. We found love… then someone who promised to stay forever forgot what the meaning of forever is. We have all had to shut our hearts down or off completely for protection from hurts, heartaches and disappointment. Unless we’re very fortunate, most of us have found ourselves, at one time or another, standing and staring at the edge of a giant hole where our life used to be, how it used to be and sometimes wish it still was. We kick a rock into the abyss and never hear it hit bottom.

So how do we go about finding our heart to really, really pray from, and to see and truly live from? Again, I can only speak for myself as I am the only one who can take and live my journey, as you can only take yours. As each journey with Jesus is personal, this is personal also. Even as I type this, the words that made me begin this blog, that sounded so very good and meaningful in my mind as I sat down at the computer, now begin to escape me. What was the real me an hour ago is becoming the false self again. How do I write this down for complete strangers to read? Why on earth would I? But why wouldn’t I if my life depends on it… because in a way it does.

Is it the enemy? Is it for protection? Is it a little of both? I mostly feel that is from that false self we have created. The funny one. The smart one. The laid back one. The reclusive one. All of the “ones” wrapped up together… The masks must come off. The same small talk we have with the cashier, the waiter/waitress/server/ whatever we’re supposed to call them these days. The small talk with family, friends, co-workers to keep the hounds at bay long enough to smile and laugh and tell a joke or funny story about our weekend before we turn to go just as a tear finds its way from the corner of our eye down our cheek from a new hurt we’ve just experienced or from a memory we thought we had forgotten long ago.

That’s also what we tend to do with God.

Dear God, thank you for this and thank you for that, and if you would could you help me out with this… okay, thanks, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

By not seeing with the eyes of our hearts, and praying from them also, we are not letting God be God. We have made our agreements in our minds for protection from life’s hurts and stings and from the arrows that go right into us. We handcuff God. We place limitations on Him. God is about as big for us as we assume Him to be. If we think He can get us a parking space close to the door, or let us hit all green lights on our journey, then that is who God is to us. But that’s not God. God is so much bigger than that! He doesn’t program the traffic lights or get you to the store first… But He does watch over you and love you and protect you….. if you’ll let Him.

Take the limitations off of Him. Change your routine, if you must… and you should if it’s become predictable and is taking the life out of you. God isn’t routine and your prayers shouldn’t be either. Let your guard down and open your heart. It will take practice and time…. and it will hurt a little.

Thank Him for everything you have in you to thank Him for. Thank Him for your family, kids, job, house, car, etc. Thank Him for the sun, moon and stars. Thank Him for your friends, pets and hummingbirds. Thank Him for putting a white dove in your path on Saturday when you needed a sign from Him more than ever. Thank Him for the ocean and sky, the mountains, the snow, rain, rainbows, the everything…. and then open your heart. Tell Him of the hurts and disappointments. Tell Him of the pain that lingers and the fears that keep you paralyzed on your mat. Be personal with Him. Confess everything good, bad or otherwise because He knows it anyway. Treat others how you want to be treated applies to God, as well. Treat Him as you want to be treated. Thank God He’s more merciful than that and will treat us with love and grace whether we deserve it or not. Just be honest with Him. << preaching to myself a little/a lot.

Then get ready. Get ready for healing and restoration. Maybe not right away as we see time, although God can do more in a minute than we can in a lifetime. But healing will come. Rest assured, it will come. But you have a responsibility in it, also…. You have to want to be well. More than life itself, you have to want it… because, in fact, it is life you’re after. And the freedom of being well may be more than you’re ready for. For some, the pain and hurt have become their identity, and everything outside of that is scary. You may be tempted to wait until He’s out of sight before spreading your mat back on the ground again and getting comfortable by the pool. We’ve all been there, some more than once, and some still choose to live there every day. Don’t do it!!!! Take a step of faith…then another… then another. Trust and obey. This is life and this is your life. Live it well and with everything you have in you to live with. We are a mist and then gone. Give God the chance to show you the exceedingly abundant God He is. Let God be God.

Start Today

I’m not fond of some of the more popular and often used (overused) sayings, such as, it is what it is. Because to me, “it” doesn’t have to be what it is. It can be changed. You can be changed. It isn’t what it is. Another non favorite: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. I understand the meaning and intention of the saying. That yesterday is the past. That by the time I get to the end of this blog, what I’m typing now will be in the past. But after roughly 23,000 first days of the rest of my life, I feel some disappointment at all the things I haven’t accomplished yet… and, to be honest, a little bit tired. But if you are still here and breathing, tired or not, you still have time. All we have is today. This minute, this hour, this day of your life is all you will ever have. Make the most of it. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never get here.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself…” – Matthew 6:34

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. – James 4:14

It is a moment of light surrounded on all sides by darkness and oblivion. In the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another just like it and there will never be another just like it again. It is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. It is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until the hour of your death. If you were aware of how precious it is, you could hardly live through it. Unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all. “Rejoice and be glad in it” or weep and be sad in it. The point is to see it for what it is, because it will be gone before you know it. If you waste it, it is your life that you’re wasting. If you look the other way, it may be the moment you’ve been waiting for always that you’re missing. All other days have either disappeared into darkness or not yet emerged from it. Today is the only day there is. – Frederick Buechner

So there it is. Two well known verses followed by one lesser known quote all stating the same thing. TODAY IS ALL THERE IS!! Live in it! Rejoice and be glad in it! Yes, be smart and plan for tomorrow, but in the meantime don’t forget to live today. If you’ve forgotten up to this point to really live your life… Start Today! Whatever it is, big or small. Big, if you’re ready, or start small if you need a moment to re-adjust your sails. Choose happiness, joy, laughter, compassion. Choose to write the book, change jobs, go back to school. I hear you saying, but I’ll be thirty or forty or fifty by the time I finish school, write a book, etc, etc, etc….. but God willing, whether you do those things or not, you’re going to be thirty or forty or fifty anyway. 🙂 Start today!

Choose to be the best father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, friend, husband, wife, etc, etc, etc you can be! Take baby steps outside your comfort zones. Renew the relationship/s… and if this wasn’t titled Start Today, start yesterday!! It is important. You are important! Your life is important! Make the phone call. Fill out the application. Take the first step. Listen for the still, small voice and follow. Every single day make the choice to follow. Plot your day and life… Be intentional. Pray, Listen, Obey and Trust = PLOT. Macmillan dictionary defines plot as a series of events that make up the main story in a book, movie, etc. But aren’t you a character in a story? Aren’t you the main character in your story? Pay attention to your story… pay attention to your life.

Pray

Don’t start your day without it. Find a quiet place to get alone with God. Even if it’s only five minutes to start.. or four, or three minutes at first, the time isn’t important. The conversation with God is. Be honest and open and truthful…because, news flash, He knows what you’re going to say anyway. Speak your heart, then..

Listen

Really listen. If you have only the previously mentioned five minutes to pray, or maybe even ten minutes, pray for half that time, then listen. Pray speak, Lord, for your servant is listening… and then listen. He will speak to you. Speaking from experience, I find I’ll spend my alone time with God praying, venting, griping for a few minutes every day before work, but don’t leave enough time to listen. I still need to let the dogs out, get my lunch together, teeth brushed, dressed for work as work prefers me to show up dressed… I get caught up in the busyness of my day to get on the road before rush hour begins. And to be honest, I think sometimes that is intentional on my part. Maybe God will tell me things I’m not ready to hear or don’t want to hear yet. Maybe God is silent, because I still haven’t acted on the last thing He told me to do. So I’m still learning to be more intentional and diligent about praying and listening and now it’s time to…

Obey

Just like listening, this is something I definitely need to work on. Don’t get me wrong.. I do obey………………eventually. The funny thing is, I know I need to obey when hearing God speak to me. Not so funny is how long it sometimes takes me to respond. For the really big, BIG things you’re hearing from God, I think it’s okay to wait a day or two and keep praying about it until you find and feel peace. The peace of God. The peace of Christ. A peace that surpasses all understanding kind of peace. Then step out in faith. Make that first small step and then another and then another. God will guide your path. It’s a promise.

“You will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” – Isaiah 30:21

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. – Proverbs 3:6

“And the Lord will guide you always…” – Isaiah 58:11

So pray, listen and obey, then…

Trust

Just when I think it’s going to get easier, this shows up. For as long as I’ve been a Christian or profess to be, trusting God has always been tough for me. I know He’s God. I know He is faithful and keeps His promises to us whether we are deserving or not. The deserving or not may lead to a delay as we are being guided on our journey. His will and His timing. Keep your faith because He is faithful and He is a good, good father.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. – Proverbs 3:5

Sounds easy enough when considering how often my own understanding has let me down. Hebrews 10:23 and Romans 4:20-21 are what I strive for.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we prefess, for He who promised is faithful. – Hebrews 10:23
Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. – Romans 4:20-21

Yet I swerve and I waver… I believe Lord, forgive my unbelief. I am thankful and grateful for everything God has given me and for waking up to a new day tomorrow for as many tomorrows as He allows. But for all my doubts and fears and problems that I lay at His feet, I don’t make it out of the parking lot before I’m back at His feet picking up half of what I laid down five minutes earlier. I feel a little like Noah working on the ark while staring at the desert. Or maybe like Elijah looking for a cloud after praying not just for seven times, but seven times for seven straight days… and still no cloud . Forgive my unbelief. Give everything to God. Put away your pride and ego, and come humbly before Him. He knows what He’s doing, and if you take the time to remember all He has done for you up to now, you will also remember to trust Him… with all your heart. He knows the plans He has for you. Trust Him.

#Pray #Listen #Obey #Trust

After reading back through what’s up there ^^^^, I do believe this is two, two, two blogs in one. I should try and tie them together to make one point, but I’m guessing I would probably add a third instead. The closest I can get is to say, be intentional with your life. Again… fill out the application (job/college/etc)… pick up the phone. With trembling hands dial the number and with your trembling voice, say, “Hello, I’ve been thinking of you.” And see what happens. See what God does. He is a big, BIG God that does big, BIG things… we call them miracles and He’s been doing them forever. As scared as you are to make that call, they may be just as scared that they’ll never hear your voice again. Put away your pride. Pray and listen. Obey and trust.

Going to wrap this up with another quote/paragraph from Buechner …

You are seeing everything for the last time, and everything you see is gilded with goodbyes. The child’s hand like a starfish on the pillow, your hand on the doorknob. Caught between screen and window, a wasp unfolds one wing. With a sick smile, guilt-ridden, the old dachshund lurches off the forbidden couch when you come through the door, his nose dry with sleep, and makes for the pillow by the hot-air register. It is the room where for years Christmases have happened, snow falling so thick by the window that sometimes it has started to snow in the room, brightness falling on tables, books, chairs, the gaudy tree in the corner, a family sitting there snowmen, snowbound, snowblind to the crazy passing of what they think will never pass. And today now everything will pass because it is the last day. For the last time you are seeing this rain fall and in your mind that snow, this child asleep, this cat. For the last time you are hearing this house come alive because you who are part of its life have come alive. All the unkept promises if they are ever to be kept have to be kept today. All the unspoken words if you do not speak them today will never be spoken. The people, the ones you love and the ones who bore you to death, all the life you have in you to live with them, if you do not live it with them today will never be lived.

It is the first day because it has never been before and the last day because it will never be again. Be alive if you can all through this day today of your life. What’s to be done? What’s to be done?

Follow your feet. Put on the coffee. Start the orange juice, the bacon, the toast….wake up your children and your wife. Think about the work of your hands… Live in the needs of the day. – F. Buechner

That’s it. Live in the needs of the day. Find the people you can’t live without and be with them. Put down the phones. Turn off the TV. Look into their eyes. Hug them. Talk about things that matter. Talk about nonsense. Have fun and be fun. Laugh and love and be present in all that you do.

Everything really is gilded with goodbyes. Tomorrow may not come for someone you love dearly. Tomorrow may not come for you. Make every moment count. Maybe not in a sky diving, 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu kinda way, but make them count. Every moment is so very special. Tonight, you’re reading them Goodnight Moon before tucking them in. Tomorrow they’re off to Little League. Next week is teaching them to drive followed closely by graduation and college. You’ll shake your head and swear they smell worse coming out of the shower than before they went in.. But you’ll still miss it. You wake up one day and that tiny gray speck that was in your beard yesterday turned into a headful of white hair seemingly overnight…. or maybe even a bald head where white hair used to be. Eighteen years gone in the blink of an eye.

We are here and then we’re gone. We are a mist, a vapor, a breathe, dust.. and to dust we shall return. We have a much, much better place to go to when our time on Earth is through. Yes, as Billy Graham said, we will be more alive than we’ve ever been on that day, but in the meantime, we have life now! How about we practice some of that on Earth as it is in Heaven thing. Keep those promises. Speak the words. Live your life. Open your mind to the possibilities. Unclench your fists, open your hands and your heart. Receive all God has planned for you. It’s closer than you think. And He’s a lot closer than you think.

“…Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
“…Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love. – 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. God will never leave you. Do everything in love… and start today. 🙂

To err is human…

The following “blog” is something I posted on social media a while back, but it bears repeating… because forgiveness = good, unforgiveness = bad.  🙂  It all comes down to (for me anyway) living the Golden Rule.  It really is that simple.  Do unto others as you would have them do to you.  You are human… they are too.

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them… – Matthew 7:12

Some of you are running around being mad and not forgiving someone for what you did to them. << you all may want to read that one again.  You are holding a grudge against someone for your behavior towards them.  Not good and I’m not pointing fingers.  Most times I write these, I find I am not just “preaching” to others…I am preaching to myself. I’ve been on both ends and without forgiveness, things almost never end well. Relationships lost, friendships gone forever… You go for days, weeks, months and years without talking to someone you thought you’d never go a day without talking to. Laughing, loving, enjoying, happiness reduced to ashes because of unforgiveness…

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. – Mark 11:25

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13

 

And don’t forget a favorite of mine (sarcasm intended as it hits a little too close to home)..

“Let any one of you who is without sin, throw the first stone.” 

Forgiveness. It’s a beautiful thing… it’s a gift from God.  Use it.  It’s just like everything else in life… you can’t take it with you.  Do not, do not, DO NOT take unforgiveness to the grave with you.  I can’t speak for anyone else, but I don’t want that regret in my life.  It’s not always easy to do, and in fact, it rarely is…but it’s worth it.  Forgiveness is love and at times may just be the best example of love you can show someone.

Again, it’s a re-post, so if it says Thursday and is posted on Sunday.  It is what it is.  🙂

 

Good Thursday afternoon, facebook friends.  In case you thought I have given up doing these, I haven’t.  I’ve been sitting on this one for a few days thinking on what to say.  But isn’t that what we all do?  We sit on forgiveness.  We all look for the words to say.  And days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years… And in the process friendships are lost. Relationships thrown away.  Sometimes for good reasons, but most of the time, not good reasons at all.

But I get it.  We have all developed our own specific survival techniques that allow us to get through the hurt, pain, disappointment we’ve been dealt and move on… or at least get by.  We try to forgive.  We read books about how to forgive.  We read Bible verses on forgiveness.  And we think we forgive.  And we may to a certain extent, but rarely achieve full forgiveness as God intended.  It’s hard to be like Jesus.  To live as He lived, to love as He loves, and to forgive as He forgave us.

And I don’t have any answers, magic words or potions to help.  I just try to remember the person who wounded me most likely has wounds of their own that need healing.  They may have wounds from when they were 5, or 15, 25, etc, or from last week and their way of dealing with their hurt, pain and disappointment is to hurt you.  Strongholds are tough things to get past.. that’s why they’re called strongholds and theirs aren’t much different from yours.  No, that doesn’t make what they did right, but 98% of the time their offenses against you are forgivable.

Still no magic words to say.. I just know for every one person that has hurt me, disappointed me, abandoned me, let me down… I have probably done the same to two. Forgive them.  If you’re saying I’ll forgive but not forget, they still have a hold over you. Don’t let that happen.  Don’t ever forget their offense/s against you, but forgive them. Don’t be a doormat for them, but forgive them.  Leave it with God.  Leave them with God. Ask Him to help them.  Ask Him to help you.  Forgive them for their offense.  Forgive yourself for yours.  Take it to the cross, lay it down and leave it there.

#thinkdifferent
#nomorestrongholds
#ichoosehappiness
#ichoosejoy
#trustandobey
#gratefulandblessed